I haven’t written here lately because work has been taking off like wild fire, I’ve been traveling a lot and I’ve been writing on other blogs, including a new one: This Mommy Gig with two other women I met online at Twitter. We’re adding other women, too, and giving “working mom” perspectives from around the country. I am taking my mommy rants over there, as a) being responsible to someone else makes me do a better job and b) it’s more fun with a team.

You can also read me here:
Training4Dublin - my Marathon Training blog with my husband as we train for the Dublin Marathon in October 2008

Women For Hire’s Be Gutsy Blog – run by ABC’s contributing Workplace Editor, Tory Johnson (I’m “Balanced Woman”)

PerkettPR’s PerkettPRsuasion - my own company’s blog on PR, social media, technology, client, industry and agency news

Or connect with me here:

Facebook

Twitter

Linkedin

I’ll be back here if the mood strikes me and it’s a topic that doesn’t fit into one of these other blogs.

Thanks for reading and I hope to see you on the other sites, too.

Mr. JP, all of 2-years-old, is providing pre-dinner entertainment by showing us how much he adores his Hot Wheels cars by kissing each and every one. My laughter in the background is genuine and adoring of his innocent happiness.

Thanks to my brother Brian for the photo.

I risk sounding incredibly um, crazy, here – but I’m hoping I’m not the only mother out there that feels like this. Perhaps it’s top of mind because it gets exacerbated when my husband’s out of town… but the Mommy Pain is something that is always in the back of my mind.

Not the pain of pregnancy or labor; screaming kids or boo boos. The Mommy Pain is a never-ending, vague yet prominent cycle of “what if” scenarios that play themselves over and over in my mind just about every day. These are nagging thoughts about what could happen someday to my children that will hurt them – and are not always (or even usually) likely scenarios. It could be as simple as the everyone-experiences-it first heart break, to a probably-in-sports-someday broken limb, to more extreme thoughts such as how will I get both children out if there’s a fire or what if someone drives by and grabs them from the yard or the panic that they have some serious disease every time they catch a little cold.

Not that I’m an over-reactive mother; I’m not. I don’t call the doctor every time they get a little fever (unless it doesn’t go down or they get worse) or panic whenever they cry (although I do get that crazy-hear-beating-lump-in-the-throat feeling). There are two things are probably at play: I’m a Type A “brain never stops” personality anyway, and I happen to obsesses about tragedies. (For example, I remember the names and details about crime victims I never knew but read or heard about.)

I’ve heard motherhood can make you smarter, and I’m pretty sure there’s all-kinds-of-ways it makes you crazy. But is my Mommy Pain natural? Am I extra crazy or do other mothers experience these daily “what if” scenarios as they go about an otherwise-normal-life!?

My five-year-old started kindergarten this year. He’s a good kid – very polite, thoughtful, caring and sensitive. But he’s also loud, stubborn and intelligent – and craves a good deal of attention (I have no idea where he got those attributes….).

He’s had a hard time adjusting to the rules. He tends to interrupt, can’t keep his hands to himself and is not one to hold back his opinions even when the teacher is talking. He’s had a few outbursts – controlling his emotions is also something he’s trying to learn. We are working closely with his teacher to try and help him through positive parenting and reinforcement. But it hasn’t been easy. I am not an overly-emotional woman but it’s hard to hold back tears when the teacher is telling me that she’s had to place him at his own work table because otherwise he gets into trouble.

And then this week The New York Times indicated – as my husband often does – that I shouldn’t worry so much. With his article, “Bad Behavior Does Not Doom Pupils, Studies Say,” Benedict Carey indicated that two new studies highlight that children entering school with behavior problems are not doomed to fall behind in the upper grades – as many educators and psychologists had historically indicated.

Not that I thought my boy would fail but I was starting to worry about his future label as class clown, and what that might mean for his dedication to learning.

One study concluded that kindergartners who are identified as troubled do as well academically as their peers in elementary school. In fact, Sharon Landesman Ramey, director of the Georgetown University Center on Health and Education, was quoted as saying “I think these may become landmark findings, forcing us to ask whether these acting-out kinds of problems are secondary to the inappropriate maturity expectations that some educators place on young children as soon as they enter classrooms.”

Based on a lot of men that I know, maturity (or lack thereof) has no bearing on intelligence and success!

I’m a fairly Type-A person – always on the go, pretty intense and not one to sit down for long, if at all. It’s also quite possible that I possess a few obsessive- compulsive behaviors – if you count noticing any time a picture frame is moved as obsessive….

Many elements in my life have likely contributed to my constantly-racing heart and go-go-go mentality – a German-work ethic, a childhood full of yellow legal pad “to do lists” from my father, a Catholic upbringing…the list goes on. In some senses, my intensity has served me well – at work, for example, where clients appreciate my tireless work ethic and constantly spinning mind. In my personal life it has been called into question from time-to-time, such as when my husband is hoping I can just focus on him during a conversation – and not tidy the counter, open the mail or keep my fingers on the keyboard while he talks.

Like anyone, I was nervous to have children. I like everything in its place and I wondered how in the world I would possibly balance my career and motherhood. But I’ve found over the years that not only am I doing an acceptable job at juggling, but my sons (ages 5 and 2) are helping me to relax a bit – ironically, when I’m busier than ever – as they continue to teach me every day some very important lessons:

• Messes can be cleaned

• Relaxing is not a bad thing – especially on the hammock with a sippy cup

• Trains are cool – bugs are too

• Love with all your might

• I should have appreciated my parents more

• Some loud music, crazy dancing and beating a drum set does wonders for stress relief

• I can fish!