“She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25

You bet.

Sometimes you can use  detractors’ opinions as fuel to do better, to keep going, to prove them wrong – but don’t forget to focus on your supporters too, and to give them more credence. Thank them, listen to them – hear them. I’ve realized now not only is that what I need to do, but that I need to put my energies into the positive: the people, the work, the beliefs that will carry me along to a better place.

Don’t believe the hype. Keep the faith. Believe in yourself. I found this video today and thought there were so many good quotes in it – so many things to help me refocus my energies, that I wanted to share it with you in case you could use a little reminder, too. Enjoy.

To all those who watch and wonder if I really know what I’m doing….

To all those who stand in judgment, waiting for the other shoe to drop….

One of the greatest gifts of motherhood is that even during the toughest of times, you are motivated to never, ever give up. That’s a precious gift, just like his angelic face.

Imagine being punched in the stomach and maintaining grace and dignity. My marriage is ending and that’s what it feels like. I have a new level of respect for women like Elizabeth Edwards, who faced public humiliation in her divorce – followed by a personal, fatal illness – and yet remained composed and dignified up to her last moments of life. I can now imagine how difficult that was and have a better understanding for her struggles.

Two simple words can take on such new meaning as your life changes. I will work very hard to make these two my guiding principals as I face a long and rocky road ahead. It’s not easy. How have you maintained grace and dignity in a time when all you really wanted to do was fall down into a puddle and cry – or stand up and scream like crazy?

Yes, that’s how it feels. But I’ll make it – with grace and dignity.

(Thanks to pals on my Pinterest for sharing.)

I recently celebrated my 40th birthday (as much as I kept hoping it wouldn’t happen). It’s impossible to not see 40 as a milestone – there’s so much stigma associated around that number, especially for women. Just look up “After 40″ in the Books section on Amazon.com and you’ll find a plethora of titles geared toward what we can, can’t, shouldn’t or should be doing, wearing, thinking – all after hitting the big 4-0.

I’ll admit I got a little grouchy about it. But after it happened, I didn’t feel any worse – and in fact, felt oddly that this milestone is really one that kicks you in the ass to look around your life and decide if you’re happy with it – and if you’re not, why not and just what the hell are you going to do about it? It has also pushed me to look back and think about what I’ve learned, what I’ve applied from those lessons and what I still need to push myself to do, try, apply, accomplish, or otherwise still explore. Here are 40 things I now know – whether or not I’m applying them (yet).

1) There is never a “right time” for a lot of things: having babies, getting married, starting  your own business. No one can tell you the right time – you just have to trust your gut.

2) People have a lot of opinions – you can listen to them but you can’t live by them or you’ll go insane.

3) It’s okay to say no. (In fact, I should say no more often.)

4) I say “I’m sorry” way too much.

5) No one can prepare you for what it feels like to be a parent and how it will infinitely and constantly change and challenge you.

6) Your childhood experiences stay with you forever – whether you want them to or not. (Remember this often if you are a parent.)

7) There can never be too much: fun, laughter, friendship, food. There can be too much: sun, wine, tears, pressure.

8) Women need to support each other more.

9) Forgiveness is a powerful thing.

10) Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go.

11) There’s never enough time in the day. So learn to manage it better. (I suck at this.)

12) Listen to what your kids say – they have a lot to teach you.

13) Regret is a wasted emotion.

14) For me, true and trusted friends are rare and should be treated with the greatest of appreciation and care and never, ever taken for granted.

15) Truly knowing yourself is one of the greatest things in life.

16) There’s no possible way everyone will like you. And that’s okay.

17) I do not want to discuss religion or politics at any dinner party, ever.

18) Sometimes you need to be selfish.

19) Some people are too selfish. Recognize them and decide if you can accept them the way they are or not – move forward accordingly with them in your life – or not.

20) Music is good for the soul. So is good wine, food and love.

21) Life really is short.

22) You can’t be honest with anyone else if you’re not honest with yourself first.

23) Saving for a rainy day is well and good, but so is having a little fun today.

24) Spend time often with your spouse alone – no matter how much you love your children and think no one on the planet is good enough to babysit.

25) Vacations don’t have to be extravagant. Take a day off, go shopping, have wine with lunch, get a massage, watch a movie – whatever gives you a reprieve from your normal routine and daily stress.

26) You can never say “I love you” too much.

27) Inspiration can be found in unexpected places. (I’m always looking for it in church or conferences and I need to give that up.)

28) My religion is not your religion. And that’s okay. We can share this world – even like each other – anyway.

29) Monsters exist.

30) So do miracles.

31) It’s okay not to get credit – do it anyway.

32) Some things can’t be fixed.

33) The most uncomfortable things are probably the things I need to work on the most.

34) I haven’t been dancing enough.

35) Caring what others think is exhausting.

36) It’s not hard to show someone how much you love them every day.

37) Be careful of your judgmental self. “So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7)

38) I suck at card games.

39) I believe playing hard is just as important, if not more important, than working hard.

40) I still have a lot to learn.

1. BU Chapter of 85 Broads Spring Conference, April 2, 2011 Boston, MA – This year the theme is “Confessions of an Entrepreneur,” where various CEOs and founders share their journeys to starting their businesses and start-ups. I’m on the PR panel, so if you plan to enter the public relations profession, start your own firm or even just consult, hopefully I can share some valuable insights to help you in your journey.

2. Social Media & Community 2.0 Strategies, April 4-6, 2011 Boston, MA- I’ll be speaking on measurement of social media campaigns and efforts. A lot of great social media folks – Scott Stratten, Aaron Strout, Rachel Happe and many others – will be speaking as well, on various topics related to business, social media, marketing, community, branding and more.

3. Cape Cod & Plymouth Biz Event – Enterprising Women – Wake Up Wisdom for Women, April 14, 2011 Hyannis, MA – I’m lucky enough to speaking among other smart businesswomen who will also  share their experiences, tips and tools on how to be a successful female business leader. I’ll be on the “Leadership Lessons” panel.

4. Tory Johnson’s Spark & Hustle National Tour, May 12-14, 2011 Boston, MA – A tour designed to inspire small business owners, I’ll be speaking on how to embrace new marketing tools like social media and integrate them with more traditional, yet still valuable, principles. Speakers on this tour have included dynamic men and women from companies such as Vera Bradley, Sittercity, Liz Lange Maternity, QVC and many more. I’m honored to be a part of the Boston leg.

5. PR News Facebook Conference, May 24, 2011 NYC – A Facebook-focused conference designed specifically for PR professionals, where I’ll be speaking on best practices for monitoring employees’ Facebook activity for optimal and safe results. Do you know how to make your employees brand ambassadors without hijacking their personal lives?

6. unGeeked Conference; Boston, November 10-12, 2011 Boston, MA – I’m excited to not only be speaking about social media, marketing, branding and PR but to be a part of the Regional Executive Team helping to organize other speakers for this conference. Interested? Let me know. Sponsored by Mashable, unGeeked is about creating and engaging an entire community, regionally, nationally and internationally of Marketing, Branding, PR, HR, Legal, Sales and Customer Service professionals, Consultants and businesses both on-line, during a 3-day retreat and after the retreat for the ultimate in discussions and information sharing.

Change happens in life whether we push it or not. In thinking about change, and the courage it takes to face it, I think I would rather face my fears and make it happen, rather than just let it happen to me.  How about you?

Spearheaded by my friend and sometime-business partner, Tyson Goodridge, a bunch of Boston’s brightest – and some of my far flung colleagues – came together to create this very special Happy Birthday video for me. To say I was shocked is an understatement. To simply say “thank you” seems inadequate.

I had no idea people were doing this and I was speechless – speechless and humbled and so incredibly touched – when I saw this.

I can’t thank you all enough. To take the time out of your very busy lives to record and compile (wow Tyson, thank you) these wishes just for me is truly mind boggling. I am humbled by your kindness and support and realize today I am even luckier than I ever knew to have such great people around me here in Boston.

Check it out – I love ya’all! Thank you SO MUCH for making 40 better than I ever anticipated.

Click here to watch the video.